In Russia there is almost no baseball games but there are too many baseball bats. Usually it’s not being used for a peaceful sports at all. Many shops sell this “sports equipment” ambiguous inscriptions, hinting you can use it for much more than just playing baseball.
Even maths teachers use it for intimidation.
Even in middle school
You got bear? We got a baseball bat, beware bear!
They sell them pink and smaller too for the girls, somewhere near the pink plush bears.
“Throw away baseball bat from your car, put there a golf club. In a road rage fight you would look much more classy”. Such “motivating” quotes are popular on Russian social networks, hinting that almost anyone is having some sort of a weapon in their car for the road situations.
Dogs use them too.
Some bats have the quotes from Russian criminal law on them telling that: “According to part 6 of Russian Federal Law use and owning of shock-crushing weapons is prohibited except SPORTS EQUIPMENT (in bold)”. So you can’t have a police-like baton in the car – it’s prohibited but you can have a baseball bat because its sporty.
Another sticker – “Baseball bat is a sports equipment and not a weapon. You can transport it in your car, it’s not forbidden”.
Another Russian joke about the baseball bats:
“Good evening, I want to buy a baseball bat”
“Would you beat people with it?”
“No, I would play baseball”.
“Oh, right, Russia is a capital of baseball”.
So, sort of anyone knows why do you buying a bat.
Some go further and start modifying their bats so that they be true weaponry indeed.
Even such simple hack turns it into a medieval club.
Some bats are sold with such smily faces and words like “kids let stay friendly!”.
“I didn’t insult you, I told you a right thing”
“Shock cam mechanism”
“Pointer to your mistakes”
“Hi from Sevastopol”.
Choose any you like.
Here are some weird ones.
The flag-colored one says “For Motherland!”
Yellow one is saying: “Best friend of a Taxi driver”
Black-white with soft white parts says “with a silencer”.
And yes, here is where it’s usually stored, to the left from the driver seat, most fast access. Getting a Russian Uber or Russian taxi – take a look there – the driver probably has a bat or another type of a weapon over there.
Here it’s sold like “set for a motorist” – “collection of the useful accessories” – wooden bats.
Here the seller called them “incense sticks”.
Some have very intricate carvings on them.
Like medieval knights were decorating their favorite weapons, the swords, this way Russian drivers decorate their bats.
Traditional Russian style, costs extra.
Like, before you could get yourself a Russian souvenir just cups or wooden spoons, now a traditionally painted wooden baseball bats are avail too.
Car and the bat goes hand by hand in Russia.
This is some pagan work.
Ladies carry ones sometimes too.