Russian Wooden Collider

Russian wooden hadron collider

When the rest of the world waits, holding its breath, for the start of the large hadron collider in Europe, those Russian people decided not to wait, but to built a prototype of the collider by themselves. As for the choice of the material there was not a big choice, they decided to follow local traditions and make it out of wood, why not?

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As well, as its larger brother, Russian Wooden Collider is not finnished yet.

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The main thing is to connect wires correctly, in order not to miss that Higgs particle.

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Russian wooden collider is much greener, than its Western pal. As you can see on this image it uses wide range of renewable technologies, such as self-powered wooden wind powe generators, and the wood itself is not toxic and can be used even by kids and people with wide range of allergies, except of the sawdust allergy affectees.

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This project is a collaborated effort by Moscow initiators and countryside locals, all joined by one great purpose and team spirit.

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And it all has started just with few sketches.

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And then, before getting the whole concept to its field testing it was carefully tasted in indoors labs, as any scientific object should be nowadays.

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Russian wooden hadron collider 14

Russian wooden hadron collider 13

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“This project is a big leap forward in using renewable materials in particle physics. Just imagine no need for the shielding against dangerous Alpha- Beta- rays, no need for high voltages and pollution of the environment caused by all the plastics and metal parts production. Literary, anyone can go and build his collider from the saw wood, which is widely available across the country. And if you ask me if it is not dangerous, that anyone can build such hi-tech device in his back yard, I tell you we have nothing to fair. All those rumours about the possibility of opening black hole portal to forth dimension when the particles collide is bull, especially it’s not worth any speculation in our case, when the wood is used – it won’t contradict the nature itself, and nature as you know, is a great power”, tells the Wooden Physics expert.

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via pollisky

via In the list below you can see some more previously mentioned products made of wood in Russia:

47 thoughts on “Russian Wooden Collider”

  1. I don’t know why we still try to compete with the west instead of investing the money and efforts in our own problems and help the people that need it most (about 142 million that is)

    • In classic web post style – neither of your links supports what you claim!

      The Qwest story is about a convicted criminal using this as a defence – not v reliable… and totally unproved.

      The second one is from 2006 – the result was FAIL.

      Firstly – your ISP can only collect where you have been (IP addreses) not what you type. It would be possible to record al phone cals – but in reality no-one has the ability to store and assess that info.

      I’m not saying that ther aren’t US (and other) programmes to monitor web traffic – just that you have exagerated it it considerably. To say “What’s worse, the US government has installed equipment on most major Internet fiber optic backbones to gather every iota of Internet traffic that passes across the web. The massive amount of data gathered is then data mined for all sorts of information on anyone/everyone using the web worldwide” is just not true. Technically the task would LITERALLY cost billions and produce little of worth.

      On the other hand – if they don’t like you they can get al that info – they just don’t have the systems to monitor everyone.

  2. I think that those structures are incredible.
    I’m sure all the local children will admire them greatly, just like most of us admire those very old “Abandoned Wooden Miracles”.
    Beautiful people + Beautiful country = Russia
    God Bless You all. Keep your chin up!
    FORGET Miss India she has nothing good to say!

  3. I love it … looks great! nice try!

    Nine Germany.. before making fun and pathetic insults look at what you did. Go smoke your lungs out!

    • well – La R used to post on here – and her posts were the same as MI – and she stopped – just as MI started.

  4. they build one in sweden too…….

  5. While americans were spending money to invent pen to use in space, russians decided to use pencils. GL everyone xD

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