Russian Cooked Beaver

Russian cooked beaver

In Russia men eat beavers. That’s not what you might thought about, I mean they EAT BEAVERS. Just first go to the forest, get some fat nice beavers the way other hunters catch hares or let’s say birds then cook it and eat. They say it’s very tasty and can be cooked just like some other meat. If you are not ready to see a beaver preparation process then better now look below this jump.

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via giedrius-ru

49 thoughts on “Russian Cooked Beaver”

    • To prepare beaver, like most rodent game, you have to remove it’s scent glands, or you’re in for a nasty surprise…

  1. Are beavers plentiful in Russia? If so, I have a plan which may help serve the Russian people in more ways than one.

    First, the obvious benefit is a food source, as seen above. Although my taste is more refined, I will leave it to the Russians to choose their own food.

    Second, and again, something the Russians are already very good with, is the use of beaver pelts to make lovely comfortable hats and other clothing accessories (although I wonder if they’ve tried using the soft beaver fur as a winter lining for underwear? Now there’s innovation in fashion).

    Third – now please be patient and hear me – think about the beaver’s greatest strength. Where does it lie? In its teeth, of course! And what happens to those magnificent chompers when a beaver is killed for food or fur? I suspect those powerful, beautiful white teeth, able to chop down trees, are thrown away.

    Now imagine how an old pensioner, a man or woman who struggles to eat his or her food because of their bad teeth, or a young Russian boy or girl who is embarrassed because of loss of front teeth, would feel if they had a nice, strong tooth replacement? How much better they would be able to eat! How much more confident they would feel! And, if necessary, they could use their powerful teeth to defend themselves from robbers, police, drunken British tourists, and other gangsters.

    These are just idle thoughts – sort of a first draft of what could be an innovative social program which could also be lucrative for Russian beaver hunters and dentists. Feel free to further develop this program, my Russian friends. I give you full ownership of the idea, as I am too busy with world affairs to pursue this idea further.

    Wishing strong teeth and smiling faces to my Russian friends,
    M. Ahmadinejad
    Persian Innovator and Philanthropist

    • Two things

      1) I think the underwear may raise the ambient temperature of the testes too high. Causing sperm death.

      2) Beavers cannot use their teeth without their incredibly powerful jaw muscles. Your plan would need to include grafting large parts of the beavers face onto the recipient. Making him or her look like Gordon Brown, our one eyed Prime Minister.

      • Dear scot,

        Excellent point about the testes. Maybe we could market that product as a dual-use velvety underwear and birth control device?

        As for the one-eyed beaver-faced Prime Minister . . . maybe he would be a good mate for the first lady of USA, a model of simian style, and together they could be stars of their own zoo. We could ask my little friend Kim Jung Il to star with them as a chipmunk and have quite a show!


        • Dear President Ahmadinajad;

          You may wish to re-consider publishing crude remarks about the First Lady of the United States. Perhaps you have not been keen to observe her well-developed arms and steely eyes. It is highly likely that continued talks between Iran and the West will result in you one day meeting Mrs. Obama, and I can tell you that when she throws an elbow, it can collapse a man’s trachea quite easily.

          Furthermore, Secret Service members have been sharpening her skills. Her reflexes and “twitch responses” are off the scharts. Just last week, she broke Jackie Chan’s nose with a 1-3-3 combination kick that sent the Chinese film star flying into a Doric column beneath the White House loop.

          So, in order to preserve the fragile peace, I humbly ask you to level your insults at a less dangerous foe, such as Dmitry Medvedev (who has very poor reflexes and a weak inside attack) or Benjamin Netanyahu, who, in his dotage, has become quite flabby and confused.

          Wishing you only the best,

          Vladmir Nabob

    • Dearest vivacious Vlad,

      No worries, my little matryoshka mate. I will order a copy of “Hooked on Phonics” and have it sent to you express post. If possible, reduce your judo practice for thirty minutes each day and substitute reading lessons.

      Hope it helps!

      M. Ahmadinejad

      P.S.–maybe you could check on my nuclear technology shipment?

      • But he writes his comments with so much complex style,I don’t care about most of them but he takes the time to style each one just rite!

      • Viperman likes M.A’s comments!!!!!!
        But I must ask – how the hell do you find so much time to write these long posts when you have such a beautiful open country to run?

        Lastly, my friend who works in State Department wants you to consider releasing the retired FBI agent you have taken into custody in norther part of your country – you know what I mean and in return I offer you some advice building a nice dacha – deal?

        About the post……my wife Tatyana says no Russian’s eat beaver!!! Only men eat girl beaver!!! She says its more tasty and healthy for you!!

        Ok, last question – hey M.A….do Arab girls shave their beaver?? Tatyana tells me to ask you as she says her and her girlfriends have bet on this subject.

        • Do you like mushrooms viperman?

          In Russia my wife Tatiana shaved her beaver so she could wear her T-back at the lake down the dirt road from her dacha.

          • Its funny you ask about mushrooms!!! My father got this brainstorm idea to raise them on our farm!! I can tell you all you want to know about shrooms!!!!!!!!!

            My Tatyana likes to completely shave her beaver – I prefer a little arrow of hair left and she tells me no!!!

            May I ask??? Does your Russian wife turn into the monster from hell during her monthly?? Never been with a America girl who was half the monster my wife is during the wonderful time!

            • I just see that as the usual Russian attitude.

              My wife does not wear her T-back in public in America,she does not wan’t to be arrested.Now there is no need to shave down there!

    • Eating wild meat’s not limited to Russians. Check out this oldtimer in Detroit who hunts raccoon in his back yard for food.

      Now that’s a gamey piece of meat.

  2. I’m from northern Canada, and have had lots of wild meat, had beaver several times, very tasty, and the fur is incredibly soft

  3. Isnt a beaver just a jumbo rat?
    I would never eat that as it looks like a jumbo tree munching rat and even if it tastes nice it looks terrible.

  4. It’s actually photos from a LJ post of a lithuanian blogger. The beaver’s lithuanian too. There’s an overpopulation this year so the hunters were given a green light to start shooting.

  5. we indian eat everything even rats and that is why our god goes made and when he goes mad we call him Mad cow (diseases!)

  6. Hi. Actually, this blog post was written not by russian and not in Russia. Person who published it is a Lithuanian.

  7. Did you know, that beaver- meat is the only meat, that katholics can eat on friday instead of fish?
    I’m catholic and have read, that in Poland it was normal about 500 years ago o.o

  8. Being Polish myself I’m realy ashamed by your comment. As yayko pointed out below beavers were eaten in Poland too. Both because of delicious meat and religous resons. Because catholics aren’t supposed to eat meat during fasting/Lent time, our ancestor suplemented their diet with fish. Because beaver tail is covered with scales it was treated like one.

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  11. wtf?!?!?! i’m from Russia and we do not eating beavers))) we like our bears, drink our vodka, played “nothing else matter” on our balalaika’s..but with the beavers – it is too much even for stereotypes.


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