20 thoughts on “A Hardware Shop Calendar”

  1. Great calendar…

    May we have English translation of the monologues / dialogues please?

    BTW: I’m sure (and bet) that there WILL be some human who’ll drop in a very intelligent comment such as “Photoshop!” here in this post as well…

  2. Very nice and innovative ideas about “alternate”uses of simple tools.but remember these ordinary tools are still using as a torture tools.beware of these “nice tools”.

  3. In the order of appearance:
    February: Calendar on the wall says “Planner for the year”. Magazines on the bed in front of the wife say: “Summer Cottage”, “horticulturist”. Object advertised – Weed-whacker

    March: The slogan is “All the great things are simple”. Object Advertised – Lawnmower

    April: The gangster says: “I whacked them”. In russian one of the synonyms of “to kill” is “to wet”. So word-by-word it is “I’ve just wet them”. Object advertised – high-pressure washer.

    May: Parody of the cheese shop russian-style. Instead of cheese, diamonds are sold here. The poster on the wall is the communist style appropriate for 40s-70s pro equality of sexes. It says: “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”.
    The first woman in line asks: “Could you cut me about 300 grams of the Russian?” The further similarity is the “Russian” is also a brand of a popular cheese (something like cheddar). Advertised object – stone-cutter

    June: workshop, the guy who is pointing on the air compressor asks: “How about this button, what does it do?” Advertised object – air compressor

    July: The slogan says: “The essence of the good vacation” Advertised object – generator

    August: sign on the wall says “Car Tuning”. The slogan says: “What russian doesn’t like Dali?” as in Salvador Dali. The original quote comes from “Dead Souls” by N.Gogol “What Russian doesn’t like fast ride?” Advertised object – Inverter

    September: the slogan says “Share the Warmth”. The sigh on the box is “Speed Radar, Christmas version”. Advertised object – heater.

    October: Slogan says ” Industrial pop, new generation”. The sigh near the mix board says “Quiet, Recording”. Advertised object – Drill.

    November: The slogan is a modified proverb, originally it says”кто рано встаёт, тому бог подаёт”, meaning “the early bird gets the worm”. The literal translation is “He who rises early, to him God gives”. In this context the words are slightly modified, it says “He who rises early, annoys the surrounding ones”. Advertised objects – Drills and Bits.

    December: classical duel of the early 19th century, described in “Eugene Onegin” by A. Pushkin. This is the beginning of the duel where the opponents choose the handguns for it. The defendant usually has the right to chose the first. At that time the duel handguns were specifically made for it. They were coming in pairs, as a guarantee of a equal weapons in a duel. Object Advertised – heat gun.

    January: Slogan says:”All well that ends well”. Literate translation: “Evil toys are always defeated by the good ones”.

  4. That’s it. Now I am sure that Russians are becoming Americans and Americans are becoming Russians.
    Either that or this is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

  5. Nice catalog! Any chance one of these could travel to Brazil? 🙂 Of course, you could send also a nice russian girl with blue eyes, I wouldn’t be sad with that :o)

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