Russian Wooden Collider

Russian wooden hadron collider

When the rest of the world waits, holding its breath, for the start of the large hadron collider in Europe, those Russian people decided not to wait, but to built a prototype of the collider by themselves. As for the choice of the material there was not a big choice, they decided to follow local traditions and make it out of wood, why not?






Russian wooden hadron collider 2

Russian wooden hadron collider 3

Russian wooden hadron collider 4

As well, as its larger brother, Russian Wooden Collider is not finnished yet.

Russian wooden hadron collider 5

The main thing is to connect wires correctly, in order not to miss that Higgs particle.

Russian wooden hadron collider 6

Russian wooden hadron collider 7

Russian wooden collider is much greener, than its Western pal. As you can see on this image it uses wide range of renewable technologies, such as self-powered wooden wind powe generators, and the wood itself is not toxic and can be used even by kids and people with wide range of allergies, except of the sawdust allergy affectees.

Russian wooden hadron collider 8

Russian wooden hadron collider 9

Russian wooden hadron collider 10

Russian wooden hadron collider 11

This project is a collaborated effort by Moscow initiators and countryside locals, all joined by one great purpose and team spirit.

Russian wooden hadron collider 12

And it all has started just with few sketches.

Russian wooden hadron collider 13

Russian wooden hadron collider 14

And then, before getting the whole concept to its field testing it was carefully tasted in indoors labs, as any scientific object should be nowadays.

Russian wooden hadron collider 13

Russian wooden hadron collider 14

Russian wooden hadron collider 13

Russian wooden hadron collider 14

“This project is a big leap forward in using renewable materials in particle physics. Just imagine no need for the shielding against dangerous Alpha- Beta- rays, no need for high voltages and pollution of the environment caused by all the plastics and metal parts production. Literary, anyone can go and build his collider from the saw wood, which is widely available across the country. And if you ask me if it is not dangerous, that anyone can build such hi-tech device in his back yard, I tell you we have nothing to fair. All those rumours about the possibility of opening black hole portal to forth dimension when the particles collide is bull, especially it’s not worth any speculation in our case, when the wood is used - it won’t contradict the nature itself, and nature as you know, is a great power”, tells the Wooden Physics expert.

Russian wooden hadron collider 14

via pollisky

via In the list below you can see some more previously mentioned products made of wood in Russia:

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    6:45 am


    45 Responses to “Russian Wooden Collider”

    1. Nine GERMANY says:

      LOL another rusian top secret military project xD

      • Miss India says:

        This is what we call junk science in the west :(

        • scot says:

          This is from another blog that Miss India/Russian Russia/La Russophobe etc posts on.

          Comment by ted
          2006-10-10 08:37:03
          “La Russophobe”, a.k.a. Kim Zigfeld (or maybe Zigfield, apparently of Allentown, Pennsylvania), posts her hateful diatribes on just about ANY public internet forum concerning Russia.

          All her posts are roughly the same in tone, a mixture of egotism, petty hatred, and unwavering anti-Russian arguments. She often completely misrepresents other’s comments, and not necessarily to prove her own points but rather to belittle her adversaries. Nearly anything regarding Russia, no matter how inane, can be twisted to show “what a pathetic country” it is, or “what an ignorant people” Russians are. She occasionally tries to claim that she cares about Russia’s future, or bemoans Russia’s lack of stature in the world, when at most other times she very publicly wishes for Russia’s demise (hence her blog’s name). Furthermore, she is CONSTANTLY posting her diatribes, to such an extent that some bloggers have suspected “her” of actually being a Putin-hired plant, to drive up positive commentary on Russia as a reaction to her ridiculing (How could anyone have that much spare time? Is this ALL she does?). More likely she is just another ideaologue, albeit with a weird hyper-focus on Russia, and an ego problem that magnifies her contentiousness. Arguing with her is about as intellectually stimulating as playing solitaire: mildly entertaining at
          first, but ultimately pointless; responding to her comments only causes the forum to be filled with attacks and counter-attacks.

          A dominatrix couldn’t be more spiteful, a schizophrenic couldn’t be more illogical, a child couldn’t be more petty, and a robot couldn’t be more unceasing and monotonous; she has already been banned from several other blogs, and I imagine several more bans will be forthcoming.

          (NOTE: feel free to copy-and-paste this into other forums where she posts, so that the sane and rational among us can be appropriately informed.)

        • ERsux says:

          This was made in Ukraine.

        • Mr. Universe says:

          Why don’t you get some “western” treatment for your lepsosy, crawl back into your slum, Ms. India, and die! :)

    2. angella1969 says:

      oh my god first!

      where are you mahommond?

    3. Kirov says:

      I don’t know why we still try to compete with the west instead of investing the money and efforts in our own problems and help the people that need it most (about 142 million that is)

    4. bill says:

      Top secret Russian PC

    5. RE: Miss India (aka: russian russia, la russophobe, etc.)

      I know for a fact that it is not associated with Putin. Rather, it is paid and employed by the US government and works in the Pentagon (building.) Its IP number is often spoofed from nearby Pennsylvania.

      Its objective is to harass and demean any Russian discussion on the web, run off legitimate posters, frustrate regular posters, drag the blog/discussion down into petty arguments, waste time, make the place unpleasant and generally destabilize the web presence of any Russian site.

      The US government pays many such people in different areas on different subjects to destabilize/steer discussions on the web. There is a whole floor dedicated to the purpose at the Pentagon.

      I believe in freedom of speech, but to allow this type of persistent attack on your website is detrimental to it. It drives down the number of positive visitors and generally casts a negative overtone to the place, while associating it with a place of frustration and anger over time.

      • Kirov says:

        And you are the lucky guy who happens to have knowledge of this secret stuff… yeah right. Back to school now!

        • Kirov (whether the real Kirov or the impostor,)

          The US program for intelligence gathering and propaganda on the web is basically public knowledge. No, the US doesn’t advertise the fact, and the average moron in the street is probably unaware of the fact, but the programs exist none-the-less.

          The US has teams involved in IT spying, hacking, virus writing, data gathering, and general harassment (like miss india.) MOST countries have such initiatives, as well. The US desires to keep the average American prejudiced against Russia, and maintain the old cold war hatred, because Putin refuses to be a US puppet.

          What’s worse, the US government has installed equipment on most major Internet fiber optic backbones to gather every iota of Internet traffic that passes across the web. The massive amount of data gathered is then data mined for all sorts of information on anyone/everyone using the web worldwide. Some proof of this is in the lawsuits between the government and Qwest Communications, as well as the confessions of an IT director for AT&T on the US west coast.

          Some info on the Qwest case
          http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/10/12/national/main3363278.shtml
          There’s dozens of articles on it.

          The AT&T case
          http://news.cnet.com/ATT-sued-over-NSA-spy-program/2100-1028_3-6033501.html

          It is important to use a proxy server, an anonymous IP number or spoof your IP number if you want privacy on the web. Of course, MAC address, machine name, browser tags, et cetera would be wise to conceal as well.

          • scot says:

            In classic web post style - neither of your links supports what you claim!

            The Qwest story is about a convicted criminal using this as a defence - not v reliable… and totally unproved.

            The second one is from 2006 - the result was FAIL.

            Firstly - your ISP can only collect where you have been (IP addreses) not what you type. It would be possible to record al phone cals - but in reality no-one has the ability to store and assess that info.

            I’m not saying that ther aren’t US (and other) programmes to monitor web traffic - just that you have exagerated it it considerably. To say “What’s worse, the US government has installed equipment on most major Internet fiber optic backbones to gather every iota of Internet traffic that passes across the web. The massive amount of data gathered is then data mined for all sorts of information on anyone/everyone using the web worldwide” is just not true. Technically the task would LITERALLY cost billions and produce little of worth.

            On the other hand - if they don’t like you they can get al that info - they just don’t have the systems to monitor everyone.

      • scot says:

        Cossack LOL

        I believe in freedom of speech….. but ban Miss India….

        hahahahahahahahaha

    6. Chris says:

      Sure beats most of the modern “art” out there.

    7. Miss India says:

      Life in the west (estonia) is so boring for me :-(

    8. joe says:

      Russia is a nation that is located on the planet Earth.

    9. Anrkist says:

      The only thing we have to fair, is fair itself!

    10. w says:

      haha can be used even by people with wide range of allergies, except wood allergies. Great commentry

    11. John says:

      I think that those structures are incredible.
      I’m sure all the local children will admire them greatly, just like most of us admire those very old “Abandoned Wooden Miracles”. http://englishrussia.com/?p=1808#more-1808
      Beautiful people + Beautiful country = Russia
      God Bless You all. Keep your chin up!
      FORGET Miss India she has nothing good to say!

    12. ll Uncool J says:

      Yall pullin my leg! That thing dont even have a ON switch.

    13. Gena says:

      I love it … looks great! nice try!

      Nine Germany.. before making fun and pathetic insults look at what you did. Go smoke your lungs out!

    14. Very nice art inspired by science, you crazy russian people never cease to amaze.

    15. w says:

      lol miss india isnt kim zigfeld

    16. YJ says:

      It’s going to catch on fire.

    17. linkz says:

      Would the whole 1 million pen and Russians used a pencil thing be appropriate here?

    18. KaoZ says:

      While americans were spending money to invent pen to use in space, russians decided to use pencils. GL everyone xD

    19. BlitzHolland says:

      Awesome work bravo Respect!

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