First Soviet Bulb
This is how the first Soviet Russian bulbs looked liked. They had the Stalin and Lenin half-face cut as a glower and were considered to be a very classy present - the first of the series were presented to the delegates of Soviet parliament of 1935. Nowadays they are considered to be an awesome antique gadget and for sale in Moscow antique shops for around $2,000.
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11:11 am
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first!
Hmm a buld that cant light up ? how russian
So true girl,russian bulbs are no good!
That is why America imports bulbs and thousands of other products to Russia!
Love u lots…Dont ever leave!
What did I tell you!
Don’t encourage Miss India!
This is your last warning!!!
I meant to say Fake!
dam u i wanted to be 1st
In SovietRussia bulb lights you!
It looks to be some sort of a vacuum arc lamp. There are two plates close by and some low pressure inert gas in the bulb, and when sufficient AC voltage is applied, it creates a dim orange glow around the plates due to a plasma discharge.
It’s kinda like a very basic neon tube.
Maybe the plates even heat up enough to give a glow themselves. That pitting on the plates is a sign of ion transfer - little hot particles of metal jumping up from the plate and landing back when the current changes direction. Any DC offset in the current would slowly rip one plate to pieces and deposit the metal ions on the opposite plate.
maybe U DONT KNOW WHAT YO CRACKA ASS IS SAYIN?!
LOOK AT DA BULB! FILAMENT BELOW IT!
DETROIT WHAT?!?!!!!!
OBAMA PRESIDENT NOW!
It used to be common for great leaders to have items made in their image, especially if it served the dual purpose of having a practical application AND serving as a symbol or metaphor which reinforced a message the ruler desired his people to receive and believe.
For example, the item above serves the practical purpose of bringing light. Plus, it serves as a metaphor - Lenin and Stalin bringing the “light” of a modern, or “enlightened,” form of government to the fine people of Russia.
The practical application, used daily as the people turn on their light to get dressed for work in their communal apartment, cook their meals in their communal kitchen, use their washrooms (again, communal), and for the kinky ones, even while engaging in that most human form of activity - sexual intercourse - reinforced the metaphorical message and symbolism of the all-knowing and all-powerful Lenin and Stalin taking care of all the peoples’ needs. This provided a low-cost method of reinforcing propaganda designed to both reassure the populace AND reinforce the power and prestige of the leader/s.
In short, it was a win-win scenario for the leaders and almost all the people. Of course, there are always those who refuse to believe propaganda, and insist on thinking for themselves, which leads me to the item I had made in my image - a customized health-care item.
Yes, yes, I know, it may seem trite for a world leader to have a health-care item made in his image, but believe me, I care for the health of my people, so here’s what I did:
Sometimes my people become too full of food backed up in their digestive system, which in turn is very symbolic of when they are too “full of themselves,” too full of knowledge, too full of self-importance, too full of the impurities of a corrupted life, too full of independence, and too full of their own ideas, especially ideas they got from the West. At times like this they need a way to clean all those impurities from their system, and I have provided them a way with my “Triple A” tool - the Ahmadinejad Anal Advocate.
The end of the Ahmadinejad Anal Advocate, for ease of penetration, is shaped like a small penis head. The other end is shaped like my head, and is commonly referred to as the “Mahmoud head.” The user inserts the AAA into the anal cavity and then gives two or three quick pumps on the Mahmoud head, which causes the Anal Advocate to squirt a lubricant designed to loosen the bowels, sanitize the anal canal and intestinal tract, and leave the anus with the refreshing scent of apple blossoms.
The AAA serves the practical purpose serving as an “advocate” for people’s anus by removing impurities form the digestive system and providing relief from the pressure of blocked bowels. Just as importantly, it also serves the propagandistic purpose of reminding my people that I am their “advocate” in a dangerous world, and that they should depend on me to keep them pure, and that they should depend on me to loosen the pressure of thinking for themselves by making their decisions for them.
I know, I know - all people should be so lucky to have such a ruler.
By the way, if you are interested in your own Ahmadinejad Anal Advocate, you may receive one by sending a donation in any amount to:
Attn: Ahmadinejad Anal Advocate
c/o M. Ahmadinejad
P.O. Box 666
Tehran, Iran
P.S. Hurry - offer only good while supplies last.
Are you going to dismantle those plutonium reactors before the powerful United States Of America destroys your little arab terrorist country?
Are you going to read your geography lessons and learn that my country, known for centuries as Persia, is not Arab?
Wishing you knowledge and intelligence,
M. Ahmadinejad
Persian, not Arab
Dear Mahmoud,
I know that you are sensible person, your erudite posts on this educational forum are a testament to that, as is your deconstruction of the propaganda elements od the bulbs above.
However, according to your own outline of this, surely your people will now begin to associate you with shit?
Imagine the scene…
“Fucking Hell, my arse is full of immovable shit.. what shall I do? Aha - it is time to stir my shit with head of Mahmoud”.
I believe that this may “take the shine off” your personage.
Dear scot,
Thank you for your imaginative analysis and constructive critique of the Ahmadinejad Anal Advocate.
I have forwarded your suggestion to my product development team, which will be working around the clock to “rectify” the issue you raised, and allow me to “save face,” or, at least prevent me from becoming, if you will pardon my language, “shit-faced.”
Serving Persia one anus at a time,
M. Ahmadinejad
When your product development team come back to you - here is a suggested marketing “jingle” to go with the half hour infomercials that, no doubt, your advertising company will be producing:
“When your arse is in a state,
Use Ahmadinejads Anal Advocate,
Cos If you hate being full of shit,
Let Mahmoud get rid of it!”
Of course, if you use this please allow me the use of your lakeside summer palace for the last two weeks in August.
Yours tunefully
scot
Dear scot,
Please see my full reply below.
My grandfather was sentenced to 25 years of labor camps for throwing away one of those!
[...] Originally Posted by NooDle ^unable to detect the funny could be me though, my lulz detector has been on the fritz lately… it’s about the excessive communist era, they put portraits of the leaders in every book, street, builidng, statues, and they started to make light bulbs with the porfile of the leader, not so much funny, but pretty stupid english russia [...]
I am speechless.
I have one similar to this one, but maybe not so old, with a glowing red star in it. (In the place of Stalin’s half-face)
[...] English Russie - First Soviet Bulb Share and Enjoy: [...]
[...] First Soviet Bulb [...]
What did I tell you!
Don’t encourage Miss India!
This is your last warning!!
Your grandfather should have gotten a death sentence for throwing away $2000
So, if you got into some trouble, could you point the KGB to your Lenin/Stalin light bulb and use it as a “get out of gulag free” card?
Dear friend scot,
Feel free to use the lake palace in August. I will tell the caretaker to expect you.
Just be careful at night, as the caretaker is a veteran of our long war with the Iraqis, and he has nightmares from his time in the trenches suffering Iraqi artillery barrages and subsequent infantry attacks. Sometimes he patrols the palace grounds in his sleep, looking for Iraqi soldiers to stick with his bayonet. Also, a particularly nasty trick used by the Iraqis has stayed in his mind, and when he sleepwalks he seems to be exceptionally paranoid of this trick.
The trick was the way the Iraqis pulled the pins from grenades and inserted the grenades between the anus cheeks of dead soldiers left behind. Whenever our soldiers lifted the bodies, the grenades would fall from between the cheeks, which allowed for the release of the grenade “spoon,” which of course caused the grenade to explode. Many of the caretakers friends died or were wounded this way, so don’t be alarmed if he throws you onto your stomach and frisks your anus to ensure no grenade is present.
He only has one eye, so sometimes it is difficult for him to know friend from foe, especially since the heavy Iraqi artillery fire he was subjected to ruined his hearing, so shout loudly and, if necessary, sing the jingle you created for the Anal Advocate. That should wake him!
Have a great time!
Wishing you peace and relaxation,
M. Ahmadinejad
Host, in absentia
OK Thanks Mahnoud.
On second thoughts perhaps I could just have some gold……
it’s a shame i used all of mine for AK-47 target practice after i drank that vodka
Thats it!
when i head there in july i am getting one!!! (though i am gonna haglle, $2000???… no way!)
[...] bad as it is, this is the first light bulb made available for sale in Soviet Russia. According to the images source they had Lenin and Stalin silouete cutouts as glowers within the glass bulb and where considered at [...]
[...] found this image on a website called English Russia. The lamp appears to be some sort of ornamental neon arc, but I really have no idea. It’s [...]
This bulbs are functioning?