What if…
Some Russian bloggers tried to imagine how the popular international brands and products could look if Russians took over the world someday…
via tema
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11:04 am
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holy shit that was funny
How awesome was this? If the west was ever to become Russofied, this is how it would be haha.Its sad to know though that the exact opposite is happening in russia. Russian brands are writing in latin script and doing english slogans. When your in russia speak and write in russian!
I live abroad and go to an English school, but when i talk Russian, I rarely add any english words. I am a true believer in cyrillic script and russifying all my programs on the computer just because I want to. I listen to Russian radiostations.
So when you speek in Russian do you think like a Russian?This makes all the difference in the world when conversing with Russians. If you think English when speeking Russian it’s very confusing to Russian people. This has been my biggest stumbling block while tring to learn the Russian language, but I will prevail.
i forget many Russian words so if I were to come to Russia now I would often struggle to find the word and think of an alternative in English, but soon my friend, very soon I would start thinking just in Russian and forget some English, this has happened before, I can become Russian properly, and my mentality too, because of my interest in world History of 20th century, I am able to express my opinions for or criticising Russia in similar ways people do it on radio Echo of Moscow. My English prononciation is surprisingly good for a Russian person and some think maybe it’s because I have forgotten or newer known another language but it’s not true. I am verybilingual in this sence, I can be listening to a Russia talk show and at the same time doing my English literature essay.
PS I say i listen to radio Echo of Moscow and this means I know what’s it like to think like Russian, dont get the typical western impression of propaganda. Modern Russian government and generation mostly see the old soviet system as a failure, we are told everywhere, on radion, on TV that the experiment failed, that Cold War was also the responsibility of a twentieth century tyrant named Stalin. I feel that to think trulely Russian, contrary to how people in the west believe, one must be able to criticize the government, believe me the people know the current corrupt cituation in Russia, you just have to talk about it with humour. “We wanted it to be better, but it turned out like always” became a popular catch phrase for talking about some of the policies being implemented in the country. On the other hand many people do look toward the west, mostly the Eurozone as an example to how some things should be done politically and economically, however, the older generation there often has an illusion that those who live in the west live in luxury and problem-free world, for them it’s sinonimous with luxury of life. But those peopel are old pensioners, they have little sources of information in Russia, their pensions are mostly quite miserable. The younger people are much better off in adapting towards the new market system, and are much better informed, trust me Russia is becoming revolutionised with a new flow of information and ideas.
pakistan sucks. muslims need to die. 99% muslims are terrorist. muslims wash his head but plan bombing or may be killing innocent peoples. day by day muslims increaning like a pigs and thinking some day dey will control d world. we should awake and should kick ass of all muslims. awake awake every1…..
Ya know… I am not Russian, but I’ve always respected the way of life, lets be honest, USA and Russia… basically the same type of people… and USA and Russia, were and are like distant family… BUT… Yes I found this to be very, very funny and kudos to the Photoshop-type work.
I loved all of ZIL-POD, and the Gaz-G5? (mac) I like how Col. Sanders was made into TROTSKI, and I think it would have been more funny if KFC- was made into KGB… I mean it was screaming it! HAHAH! Lastly, Very good, but I think, NO ONE really, made it to the Moon…. it was USA and SOVIET, “BOLOSHEVIK” in the first place.
Kudos! MAKE MORE.
i disagree, US and Russia have different poeple, we like eating fish with onion and vinegar
I’m an American and my friends and I eat pickled herring almost daily, so I fail to see that point.
Great! I liked the “M”oskovskie Kotleti…vpered!!
isnt it sad Russians will never be rich, successful and powerful like americans?
while America dominates the world with a GDP pf 14.3 trillion, 3rd world Russia only produces 1.2 trillion. 
1.2 trillion, its 1.8 trillion now thats one point. The second point is that US population is more that double Russian.
The third point is Russia has a very big black market not counted in the official GDP.
Russian products cost up to three times cheaper in Russia.
Fourth. Eurozone now produces more than America.
Fifth. Only through exploiting China is US able to produce, else everything would cost many times more expensive.
Sixth point. you are fucked!
ahahaha, joking…..not, thumbs down everyone, it’s Miss (whore) India, aaaa everyone spam her mailbox, post as many replies here as possible.
USA has been living on Chinese and even Russian IOUs for awhile now
Miss India should look up the fact that American debt is the same as it’s GDP and Russian debt is nonexistant
The KFC one is a piece of subtle genius
Can you translate the text on the KFC one?
Trotsky’s Fried Chicken
The joke is, the KFC guy looks a lot like Trotsky
thanks for the translation, clear now
and Trotsky is one of russians hero. he killed thousands
The evil capatalist Colonel Saunders also killed thousands - perhaps millions …. of the chickens.
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really is - I want the T-shirt!
In your dreams commies!!!
:D 
[...] - A third piece of cool for you. English Russia have a collection of photoshopped images speculating on how some iconic images and products would [...]
Epic thread from Art Lebedev’s ZhZh. The question to the commenters was to transpose something from Russian culture to something from another culture - so not strictly depicting “the world as ruled by Russia”. I think I could love a world that’s a mix between Soviet provincialism and 21st century progress…
Trotsky Fried Chicken is cool. Other is so-so.
Mega-cool!
PMSL!
This is awesome! The funniest stuff i seen in a while.
I wonder what it would really be like…
I just cant imagine ZIL making sports cars and electronics, but if they did, It would be kickass
Also Gazprom energy drink, Its actually quite possible, I want to try it
A Gazprom energy drink and a Gematogen bar would be great right now!
I like a lot a 3-litre Heiniken beer tank. And Moto RAZR with USSR quality control stamp. I still remember the soviet phones with these stamps. But they`re made in Bulgary.
Impeach Obama… immediately. Worst. President. Ever.
Ignorance is a bliss isn’t it?
They said……..it could never happen.They also said…….it would not work out.But I showed the whole world………………………………..it could and has happend.I am now the president of the United States Of America!
These pictures are a bit sad… they make me feel that Russians think of their products as inferior to Western ones. Well, it is probably true when speaking about mass-produced goods… but it is because of political system, not because of lack of technology, materials or knowledge.
As for Moon landing or F-117… the first one didn’t happen only because of Korolev’s sudden death (and Russian space technology was at the time far more advanced than American), and the second one is just a very incapable and generally bad aircraft, again, Russian technology is probably better in that particular field.
Picture with camera eqipped with Carl-Zeiss lenses depicts something that actually existed. Some Soviet top-range cameras had East German made Zeiss parts, and had inscriptions such as “Carl Zeiss сделано в СССР” on them.
[...] se a União Soviética tivesse vencido a Guerra Fria? Vi nesse link algumas fotos e desenhos de como o mundo seria se isso tivesse acontecido. Achei muito bem feito, e [...]
i lol’d at “ivanovy”
Someone has a big imagination.The problem with most of it with the exception of the moon landing is this is during soviet times.It would be more convincing if it was todays russia.Comunisim–Capitalism!<This is why the USA was ahead of the soviet union on many things
LOL @ zharenie kurochki trozkogo (Trotsky’s face expression) =)))
Besides that, not a chance. Russians copied 99% of everything, while the West actually invented, moving the whole world forward.
Also, the “DIALOG” phone is pretty funny, hehehehe “telefonniy apparat”
Yes most things are imported there.I was surprised to see many things there that are from america.I guess I should not have been.I wonder if Russia was like the west in the past and not communist would they have their own products with russian writing on them.But I will say that stealth bomber with the stars on the wings does look cool.
They did a post here recently with Russian pre-communist products and ads.
As far as F-117 with stars, I kind of found it strange and perverted - like looking at the space shuttle with Zimbabwe flag on it. =)
The soviets did have the Buran space shuttle.It flew 1 time.Then the soviet system collapsed and now it is in a museum.On second thought it would be scary if the soviets had the F-117.Russia and America think very differently.
Buran was shamelessly copied, just like the “Concordski”, just like pretty much everything else russians copy.
Yes,I am sure the technical plans were sold to them,same with the atomic bomb.I saw on tv a former imployee from Los Alamos in New Mexico sold info to the soviet government.Espionage,money talks.
Russia didnt steal anything!That is a general truth? that russians invent- europeans steal!for example: marconi is thought to be the inventor of radio, but Popov invented it a year earlier!May be they thought about it individually? but it is sad that everybody in world think that its marconi invention
Zax, let say that the F117 was a plane designed with a narrow spec sheet…
really narrow…
really really narrow…
But the proof that with enough computer power overcompensation even a turd can fly.
Funny thing is, the business “climate” in the USSR wouldn’t have allowed for the innovation that brought these products about in the first place.
Both the East and the West stole each other..
I want you to go to a map (without any letters), and find:
1. Belgium.
2. Indonesia.
3. Namibia.
4. Uruguay.
5. Panama.
I hope I didn’t insult you..
Dearest Kirov,
I have been poring over my map, looking for the connection of these five countries. First of course I noticed they are not connected to each other, at least not without interruption of other countries and bodies of water in between.
Then I tried making a word with the first letter of each one, and arrived at “BINUP.” Since it is not a word in English (language of this website), I decided maybe you were speaking as a Filipino or Indian, who may pronounce “Pinup” as “Binup.”
Still, I don’t see the connection, since few of the photos on this post are of pinup quality.
Belgium is home to NATO, the powerful but cowardly force which did nothing while my Russian friends beat Georgia back into submission. Indonesia is home to largest Muslim population and Bali, where I used to lie naked with wayward Western women on holiday. Namibia is home of the blacks, with a few nice Germans on the coast. Uruguay–another place with nice Germans and some sexy Latins. Panama–more sexy but often lazy Latins, and the famous canal built by the Americans and given away by Jimmy “the Arab” Carter.
I still don’t see the connection.
He’s just this spiteful, shit-spewing troll that always flames the U.S.
In this case I think he was trying to point out american “stupidity” (inability to find countries on a map without names)
If someone came up to me with a nameless map and asked me to point out some small country, I would roll up the map and stick it into their eye.
We do always get a kick out of your contributing comments though, Mr. Ahmadinejad!
Where do I sign up for the republican guard? Would I qualify as an infidel anti-theist?
=)
Do you have any way to contact the artist who did the Obama-as-Gorbachev photo?
I’m writing an article for a magazine with exactly that thesis, and I’d like to use this shot as a photo illustration.
Original post of Obama-as-Gorbachev u can find at
http://tema.livejournal.com/254448.html?thread=107658992#t107658992
only laugh-out-loud for me was Gematogen…
The premise of the concept is grossly failed. The reality is, if the Soviet Union did take over the world, none of it would have ever existed. Reason? Soviet Union was pretty inventive when it came to pissing contests and killing people; making things for daily life - not so much. Example - GPS/Glonass: my $50 cell phone sized GPS receiver gives me 15 ft. fix. Has anyone seen Glonass lately?
there was actually “kocmoc” cigarettes. i’ve smoked it some time 20 years ago.
Yeah, but the pack design is like the Marlboros =)
Cosmos
My picture was taken in front of a cosmos movie theater in Ekaterinburg.
I fuck you. American boys and girls suck my dick. I RUSSIAN MAN. My country the best.Recollect who win 2nd world, recollect as you be afraid our planes and rockets? Russia - all is told by it. I Russian also am proud of it. OyK3
WHO’S THE MAN SHOWING A FINGER (FUCK u)?
I can’t believe at all retards here still fighting over capitalism/communism cr@p - com’on - it’s 21 st century and these images are just artistic imagination for entertaining purposes!!! Get a life, idiots - everyone sh!t in the morning, so what make one better than the other? Just enjoy the Sun while it shines and get on with your daily bull!
A lot of work has been put into these!
I wonder what Apple Notebooks would have looked if Apple was a russian brand.
Да… самому страшно стало…
Samomy strawno stalo…
Americans never have been on the moon
and Stealth is a Russian invertention the guy who build the Stealth is a Russian scientist he sold his work and helped to build stealth
Led Zeppelinski
What’s so exiting about that Stealth anyway. It cost 1B and get downed by an obsolete Russian anti aircraft sistem which was built back in the 60s.
And sure - the Russians stole that “Kosmos” word from the West. Just like “Sputnik” and pretty much everything else.
[...] Jei Rusija valdytų pasaulį [...]
You gotta love it how Russians always scream that they invented EVERYTHING, including the moon.
[...] Dar niekada nemačiau taip smulkmeniškai apgalvojant ir taip smulkmeniškai atliekant tokio kiekio reklamų logotipų pakeitimus. Kas būtų, jei vakarietiško kapitalizmo simbolius pakeistų rusiški vardai (brand’ai)? Pažiūrėkite
[...]
VEF (pic of mobile) is not for Russia. VEF is for Latvia.
Right.
VEF stands for “Valsts Elektrotehniska Fabrika”, meaning “State Electrotechnical Factory”. It was established in independent Republic of Latvia before WWII.
It produced luxury radio sets (some got Grand Prix at industrial exhibitions in Paris), telephones, communications equipment (radio stations for airplanes etc.), film projectors, MINOX super-miniature “spy” cameras, also airplanes (designed by Irbitis) and other interesting and high quality stuff.
In 1940 Soviets came with tanks and troop and took over the country.
In the next 50 years the quality of Communist run VEF products decreased while still it was best in the USSR.
In nineties, when market became free again, it was obvious that the company has been effectively destroyed by the Soviet rule, unable to compete, bare shadow of what it used to be once in the free world, so it naturally disintegrated.
There are still some left-overs, tiny companies, using VEF logo, but the innovative high-tech enterprise it used to be (Latvian “Siemens” as it was called by some) is gone for good.
Just another crime committed by Soviet Communists. There are so many of them..
Да это еще что:) Вы в курсе, что у нас в паспортах на восьмой странице Кенни из СоусПарка нарисован?)
LOL жжош!!!!!!!
Here in the U.S. we’re already a week into the Messiah administration, and we already could use a dose of glasnost. But what about ускорение? What is that in a political context? I tried googling, but my knowledge of the Russian language is too limited to find anything I can understand.
(The perestroika we’ll probably get, whether or not it’s any good.)
Neploho zamutili fotozhop, ulybnulo))))))Osobenno prikolnulo “Sochi, Hule” *ROFL*
P.S.: Из России с ПревеДом))))))))))))
Придурки вы все англичане….
[...] Para ver todas, visite o englishrussia. [...]
I love that KFC-Trotzkiy stuff :)))))
Мы вам еще устроим Козью морду!!!
Добрый Русский! :)))))
That might have very well become reality, if there would not have been the Communist coup in autumn of 1917 and the new social order after democratic revolution of spring 1917 would have lasted.
Instead there was nearly a century of totalitarian terror and basically complete destruction of the country and society and degradation of the people.
Such a pity.
P.S.
Read “The Island of Crimea” by Vassily Aksyonov. Alternative history of what would have happened, if Whites would have managed to establish independent country in Crimean peninsula.
http://www.amazon.com/Island-Crimea-Vassily-Aksyonov/dp/0394524314/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
The people in Russia are more spiritual than in most other countries. That’s is true. And that’s what missing America with their rich country and already crashed economic.
I would happily smoke “Kocmoc” cigarettes!
I can see the tagline now:
“One puff, and you’ll be in orbit!”
Privet!
Hello, braliukas:)
Very nice Russian interpretations of existing advertisements and products.
Cheers,
Anitha
Чё казлины нерусские зубоскалите??? ВОТ я вам наваляю. Медведям скормлю. Бу-га-га
rammstein tatu
please buy SAAB
[...] This is something genious. What if russia was the superpower, not USA? [...]
もし、ロシアが世界征服を果たしていたら…
学校はロシア語必須！
音楽とバレエは必修科目！
中学生は全員フォークダンスをやめてコサックダンスだw
いやいや、ロシアのパワーをあなどってはいけません。
ロシアが征服し…..
russian-foreva
fak-amerikan
Very thoughtful and very lengthy post
::DD nu norma, veselie kartinki.)
yo us vener even went to the moon classy way to prove merica won cold war
gematogen LOL