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    Tuesday, 15 May, 2012
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    How To Survive a Crisis?

    44
    Posted on July 21, 2011 by CJ

    Do you know how to turn a simple sunflower seed into a piece of delicious meat? If not, ask the Russians – some of them know nice ways of how to survive the crisis…


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    First of all, buy a packet of sunflower seeds.

    Go to the nearest place with the high concentration of pigeons. Throw the seeds on the ground.

    Wait till the greedy creatures approach your feet.

    Make an abrupt movement and grab the youngest and the gentlest one.

    Or the fattest one. A pigeon is an exceptionally dull bird, so in this way you can catch up to 3 pigeons in one place.

    Pluck them.

    Cut the head and the legs off.

    Marinate the bodies either in vinegar, mayonnaise and spices, or, if the crisis is not so bad, in wine for at least one day, otherwise the meat will be tough!

    Bake for an hour on a baking sheet covered with the foil. 10 minutes before the end, remove the foil and turn on the upper grill. Decorate the dish with greens and potatoes.

    Bon appetit!

    via volha

    This entry was posted in Funny, Photos and tagged cheap and tasty, cooking, crisis, delicious, pigeons, recipe. Bookmark the permalink.
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    44 Responses to “How To Survive a Crisis?”

    1. CZenda says:
      July 21, 2011 at 3:48 am

      I would not touch the winged rat. Forest pigeon or that grown like a poultry would of course be a different story.

      Reply
      • testicules says:
        July 21, 2011 at 5:55 am

        You would if you lived in Russia. Don’t you remeber the post showing them injecting chickens with some mystery fluid.

        Reply
        • melko says:
          July 25, 2011 at 9:26 am

          That’s Belorussia and that’s a fake. Just pigeon and quail look like similar.
          Working as an accountant for 80$ a month never eated a pigeon ))

          Reply
    2. pros says:
      July 21, 2011 at 3:49 am

      FIRST!!!!!

      Reply
      • testicules says:
        July 21, 2011 at 5:55 am

        Keep trying

        Reply
    3. wacek says:
      July 21, 2011 at 4:29 am

      ?????? what is this? eating pigeons? yuck!

      Reply
    4. Marked One says:
      July 21, 2011 at 5:15 am

      Nice. :D They probably don’t taste too bad with a bit of spice/herbs. Should probably do this in nodnol. How do the cities compare for pollution?

      Reply
      • EngrishBob says:
        July 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm

        How’s life in Bulgaria?
        Mind if I pop in for dinner, I’m only a few selim out.

        Reply
        • testicules says:
          July 22, 2011 at 10:32 am

          Depends if you are in Varna, Plovdiv, or Sofia.

          Reply
    5. DreamsKeeper says:
      July 21, 2011 at 5:29 am

      Hmmmmmm yami !noam noam noam noam !

      Reply
    6. Tony says:
      July 21, 2011 at 6:57 am

      What actually happened:
      http://volha.livejournal.com/498377.html

      Reply
      • historian says:
        July 21, 2011 at 9:52 am

        Too bad most americans here arent bilingual, cos of the bad school system, so they have to believe this junk.

        Reply
      • Boritz says:
        July 21, 2011 at 1:00 pm

        Good joke on us! Everybody needs to read original post (in the Russian)

        Reply
        • SMERSH says:
          July 22, 2011 at 11:19 pm

          I wish I could.

          Reply
    7. Musa says:
      July 21, 2011 at 7:41 am

      lol.. Very clever idea to use in desperate situations when there isn’t many things around to eat.

      A lot of people these days couldn’t get past picking up the pigeon, killing it, plucking the feathers, cutting it open and cleaning it.

      Hunger is the best sauce.

      Reply
    8. xoxo says:
      July 21, 2011 at 8:37 am

      seriously?

      Reply
      • Rowski says:
        July 21, 2011 at 10:01 am

        they own you!
        look there http://volha.livejournal.com/498377.html

        Reply
        • Poupou-en-guyane says:
          July 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm

          Hahhaha ! That’s a very good one. I love it ! I wish I could read Russian. Anyway, the pictures are explicite enough. It’s son simple to fool people !

          Reply
    9. Robinis says:
      July 21, 2011 at 9:15 am

      Yeah… a full dose of lead and other heavy metals + chemicals from the cities life and etc.. Good luck whit that eating habits and future health problems (cancer and other)_.

      Reply
    10. Chac Mool says:
      July 21, 2011 at 11:03 am

      Now that is a tough crisis.

      Reply
    11. ODB says:
      July 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm

      My grand-pa did it in his youth when he was living in Paris :)

      Reply
    12. handburglar says:
      July 21, 2011 at 1:03 pm

      It’s called squab and people eat it all the time, I’ve never had it but if I was hungry I’d eat it.

      Reply
      • Musa says:
        July 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

        Better that than fried starfish for sure.

        Reply
        • testicules says:
          July 25, 2011 at 11:07 am

          Or chocolate starfish

          Reply
    13. SMERSH says:
      July 21, 2011 at 5:19 pm

      And if the crises gets really bad, you can use the raw pigeon to catch roof-rabbit or the cooked pigeon to catch long-pig! :-D

      Reply
    14. George Johnson says:
      July 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm

      Why not? I hunt squirrels around here. but my gun normally just blows them apart unless I get a head shot.

      Rats with wings, I’m guessing they’re dirty on the outside, the meat is OK. I mean, they eat “normal” stuff, seeds, popcorn, bread crumbs etc… Pluck ‘em and you get the bugs too.

      Reply
    15. George Johnson says:
      July 21, 2011 at 6:18 pm

      This IS pretty funny though (google translate is your friend, sometimes anyway)

      Reply
    16. scumbum says:
      July 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm

      choke my chicken, you pigeon pluckers!

      Reply
    17. Hal says:
      July 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      yes yes if you just look a second time you will notice those feathers are from neither a chicken or pigeon. I wonder which forever alone did such desperate thing to make him get noticed?

      Reply
    18. Nidia says:
      July 22, 2011 at 5:15 am

      I wish They were that easy to catch!

      Reply
    19. mekkia says:
      July 22, 2011 at 7:10 am

      It’s a fake made of goose down and quail trunks.
      But it’s really funny.

      Reply
    20. Nyan says:
      July 22, 2011 at 7:36 am

      Well:
      1) Not Russians, but Belorussians.
      2) It was a joke, y’know. It’s not actually a pigeon that the author cooked, but a quail, lol.

      Reply
    21. Akasha says:
      July 22, 2011 at 8:17 am

      thats disgusting(if the person really ate it), they’re full of infetuous diseases.
      and if you don’t have money for meat, grow your own vegetables, too much meat is not healthy anyway

      Reply
    22. XXX says:
      July 22, 2011 at 8:23 am

      Huh…
      That isn’t Russian, it’s Belarusian…
      Russia doesn’t have a crisis now.

      Reply
    23. mikros says:
      July 22, 2011 at 1:15 pm

      The bottle of vinegar is Italian: “Aceto di vino rosso” means: “Vinegar of red wine”

      Reply
    24. Akasha says:
      July 22, 2011 at 7:25 pm

      oh, plenty of pigeon eaters in here, at least 3

      Reply
    25. Paisley_Pirate says:
      July 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm

      As a poor American kid, we ate pigeon when I was growing up… of course it was home grown out in a very rural area…

      Reply
      • SMERSH says:
        July 23, 2011 at 10:37 pm

        Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Of course…I would prefer grain fed to garbage fed but hey, at least these were free range! ;-)

        Reply
    26. Phonteq says:
      July 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      O my God!

      Reply
    27. Russian Fan says:
      July 24, 2011 at 11:41 am

      Believe it or not the pigeon was breded for human consumption and it eaten all around the world, but the United States where they are pets and flying rats.

      Reply
    28. TrulyRestlessSoul says:
      July 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      Doesn’t look that tasty with out any sauce!

      Reply
    29. testicules says:
      July 25, 2011 at 11:08 am

      LAST!

      Reply
    30. Mister Correct says:
      August 4, 2011 at 1:37 pm

      do note that they only took the black ones… just sayin.

      Reply
    31. Mark Alexander says:
      December 22, 2011 at 5:00 pm

      Russia is genius and madness in equal measure!!

      Reply

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