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44 A Funny Overview of Russian Men

A Funny Overview of Russian Men

Posted on August 13, 2009 by team


192

We have made  a set of the most recognizable characters around us.

A young father type can live a steady life of an office-manager or photographer, but when risky sex comes to his life – everything changes…
With a dry milk spot on his shoulder, he doesn’t understand  what strange smell follows him all day long.
He knows all places on the Internet where he can order “best Japanese diapers” and knows how to tall them from the common ones.

There is a pacifier or a rattle in his pocket, but usually both of them.
He drinks much at friends, and keeping away from beer at home just in sympathy with his close ones. When the fun is at its peak, he remembers his promise to bathe the baby and quickly leaves.
He has a picture on the phone: “we are 20 min. old here” and picture like “I am cutting the umbilical cord here”. He took the picture with his left hand. He shows this picture to everybody who fails to escape in time.
He is slim as usually he eats what’s left on the baby’s plate.
When shopping, his keeps his eyes are closed and he is rocking the shopping-cart out of habit.
He has cuts on the face as he falls asleep several times when shaving.
Women like him but he does not know what to do about it.
He has his own opinion about breast feeding.
He has a creasy condom with expired date but does not throw it away in the hope to use it some day.
He bought a radio-controlled plane for the daughter in advance. He is dreaming to try it with friends when he comes home.
There are creases on the shirt cuffs as he has not mastered the ironing technique yet, but he is always ready to talk about it.
He can achieve orgasm quickly not to wake up the baby and his wife.
There are spots on the trousers from washing with stain remover.
He says “we have pooped” we have fallen ill” or “we have fallen ill and  we have pooped in a strange way”.

210

Intellectual

It does not mean that he is intellectual, but there are a lot of guys of this kind.
He is bold, though he is 20. He wears square glasses not to be confused with criminals.
He smokes “Zhitan” and self-made cigarettes. He respects vodka, whisky, coffee.
He thinks that all people are bogans.
He likes the free stuff and is proud of it. He eats mainly at promo-parties.
He is dressed in Corduroy pants and suede coat. The scarf and training shoes are made by Holland and young Japanese designers. He likes the vintage style. The bag has a DDR sign.
There are some things in his house. He does not know what he needs them for.
He never watches TV, despises sport and dancing. He broadens his view with pleasure.
He is always one hour late.
He can curse skillfully, mostly in literary or musical circles. He likes the prefix “post”.
He says: “in this country”.
He knows languages well, mostly those which people around don’t know. He dreams to leave “this country” and to write a book.
He knows a small restaurant in any city of the world where he needs to order some dish. It is cooked only there.
Any disc with sold over 200 copies is  a trash for him. He can admire Britney Spears but has no idea who Enrique Iglesias is.
He knows how to put up Arabs with Hebrews, but he does not know what to do about the drunk neighbor shouting at the staircase.
He celebrated the New Year alone with a case of whiskey.
He posts in livejournal 8 times a day. He is a journalist, a creative person, a musical critic. He works on Apple.
His wife is not a hot woman, but a smart one and is older than he.
A fragile self structure causes his strange phobia. He is afraid to eat cheese in the cinema.

62

Health-nut

He puts on tight clothes everywhere he goes to show his muscles.
He drinks green tea or water, but without gas in it! This is important!
He looks at the dumplings with horror when he goes to visit somebody.
He has an apple in one hand and expander in another.
He tries not to use elevator if possible.
When he chooses the car, he thinks where he will put skis and boat.
He has a steam cooker.
The worst day in his life is when the condom burst. It’s great he was alone then.
He hates the maid, who threw away the grown seeds of soya beans.
He carries pacecounter and calls it pedometer.
He has not drunk for 20 years because he argued with his childhood friend that he would never do it. He sleeps with his eyes open but with his hat on.
He secretly suffers from such serious illness as moss allergy.
He did not serve in the Army as it is bad for health.
He has almost died in Himalayas from the mountain illness once.
He puts the breading away from nuggets and soaks the meat to put away extra fat.
When he meets friends he pinches their abs and palps them.
When diagnosed with cancer, does not believe in it long.

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44 Responses to “A Funny Overview of Russian Men”

  1. CZenda says:

    The Intellectual does not smoke “Zhitan” (which sounds like something made out of rye), but French filterless “Gitanes”.
    These tabs became unavailable recently where I live, together with Gauloises Caporal. God knows why, they probably did not sell well.

  2. nuteteme says:

    great article mate !!! seems that people are the same all over the world.

    cheers

  3. Louis says:

    You said “bogan”! Thats great, I thought this was only a word we used in Australia!

  4. asha says:

    Прикольно

  5. Ali says:

    Senin götüne yogurt döker siker ayran yaparım.Tamam mı?

  6. Zhenya says:

    This post WINS! I wanna see how the 2-bit trolls will try to muscle into this clever satire.

  7. kalle says:

    wonderful.
    ‘Intellectual’ looks exactly like his german brother.

  8. Mathieu says:

    Where is the drunk russian?

  9. kalle says:

    i assume the Neighbor is the drunk russian.

  10. rk says:

    I love this! I wish there were a female version as well!

  11. Kirov says:

    This is not Russians. This is copied from US magazine with Russian translation. Is lame.

  12. PIXPICK says:

    Haah haaa good one… enjoyed reading…

    pixpick.blogspot.com

  13. pimp says:

    Why am such drunkard? :(

  14. Abanamat says:

    Did you guys use Google translator or something? It’s funnier and much more meaningful in Russian. And you coulda done a much much better job. >:(

  15. YJ says:

    I think the intellectual looks like a gay wad just like it’s West Germany counterpart.

  16. cm says:

    Shouldn’t the second one say ‘GAY’, instead?

  17. Jason says:

    And the Russian man should shower 2 times a day and always shave.Most Russians do not like facial hair.

  18. Gheorghe din Transilvania says:

    mwuhahaha… In Romania you cand find also these categories of people… I think old communism succeded to make most of people equal…
    :-))))

    • Domo says:

      ;)))
      Agree!
      The only one I didn’t meet myself is the “city neurotic”.
      All the others are described precisely!

  19. Chippy says:

    Looks like Iphone is the new Stolicinia

  20. Grigory says:

    It is true!
    I like MAXIM!

  21. charlene says:

    you should really have someone spell check your translations for you…as well as the grammer….it still made for a great read though!

  22. But, I discovered your blog via Yahoo. Do you actively promote your blog? I have going studying opening my own blog, but I am not secure if I could stimulate sufficient people to read it to take it precious my while. Thanks in advance for your feedback.

  23. Ewa Pittillo says:

    I very delight learning your article. I shall propose your site to my facebook and twitter friends. Thank you for the particular post.

  24. Nathan Lee says:

    Enrique Iglesias is just like his father. They all make good music.*`,

  25. Mason Adams says:

    What are the best brands of pedometer on the market?,*`

  26. Enrique Iglesias have inherited his father’s greatness in music.'”:

  27. i always use my pedometer whenever i go out for jogging.”,.

  28. Hello,great article. Infos are pretty useful and saves me huge amount of time which I spend on something else instead of searching :) Im waiting for more, bye :)

  29. Esme Fisher says:

    my pedometer is made by general electric and this is a long lasting pedometer”*;

  30. Awesome Post, thanks for this fine Post. I will come back soon ! Great tips also : mavala nail biting

  31. Enrique Iglesias did inherit the charm of his father, he has a great singing career.;~

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