29 When There is No Food

When There is No Food

Posted on September 18, 2007 by

russian way of cooking crayfishes 1

When your fridge suddenly becomes empty together with your pockets, there exists one easy salvation how to make a dinner even for ten persons. First of all you should go to the nearest forest and gather crayfishes there, or whatever, we don’t know where those Russians find those cancers. Their number should be enough to fill the bathroom. Here we have to notice, that the bathroom full of crabs (or what’s their name?) of course looks ridiculous but is the most important aspect in cooking, because if you are too tired or drunk or whatever again, and need to have an instant break, they will still be alive and fresh, swimming in your bathroom. But don’t fill it to the brim, these creatures are very sly and can easily get out, kill you while you are sleeping and move out to the forest. So be attentive and better barricade the door in the bath-room or barricade yourself to make sure. So have a good and safely rest, then wake up, take several packings of sour cream and pour it out in the bathroom! The crabs like the sour cream and will stain in it. This makes them more delicious. Don’t try to spread them with the sour cream by your own hands, it can be dangerous. After all wash them with a shower, fill the bathroom with clean water, and turn on the immersion heater. The dinner is ready. Of course, keep in mind that you will need about bucket of beer to eat all those crabs.

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russian way of cooking crayfishes 7

via exler

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29 Responses to “When There is No Food”

  1. Jewish Prostitute Sarah Zaluppa says:


  2. Jewish Prostitute Sarah Zaluppa says:

    that’s just awful!

    I hate jews, muslims and christians! They are eating dead animals!

  3. lithuanian says:


  4. Pyotr Velikii says:

    Tak vkusno! No, davol’no trudno est! Slishkom khrustyashchie! A vkus divnoi!

  5. Boris Abramov says:


    I actually really miss crayfish. They aren’t often sold fresh in the UK as they are in Russia, and that is a great shame. I now tend to substitute them with lobsters, which actually taste quite similar but still aren’t as good as good old crayfish with beer. Yam yam :)

    • Dixieland says:

      I walked out in my driveway several years ago and there was a crayfish(pronounced crawfish, crawdad, or crawdaddy). The thing is there were no creeks or streams around that I knew of.

      • Boris Abramov says:

        You are being invaded by killer crayfish. Pack your bags and run for your life!

        • Dixieland says:

          Come to think of it… he was kind of aggressive. The author of this blog must know something I don’t. I will have to sleep with one eye open now.

          Also I hope they got all the hair out of that bath tub if you know what I am saying.

  6. Boris Abramov says:


  7. theghostwoman says:

    Pretty neat… you can also drink out of the toilet when you’re at it. :)))

  8. TeratoMarty says:

    A bathtub full of deliciousness! I don’t care how bad the author’s English is, I envy him, both for his tub full of crayfish and his ability to eat them. I am tragically allergic.

  9. elisei_zorine says:

    Boris , may i congratulate you: you have defeated orknexus;

    • orknexus says:

      Hash: SHA1


      How is that?

      Tell me more about it!

      (See http://www.geocities.com/orknexus/signature on how to verify authenticity of this post)
      Version: GnuPG v1.4.7 (MingW32)


  10. Texas1 says:

    I want in this bathroom !

  11. vitaliy says:

    LOL!! Move out to the forest!!!

  12. Junkie says:

    I just vomited in my mouth a little…

  13. Enomis says:

    Here in the US we eat them all the time. I am from Louisiana – we have crawfish boils – they are boiled with spices (very hot!), potatoes, small ears of corn, onions and lots of other things.

  14. Eyegor says:

    You’ll eat me out next sunday whether i’m bald or not.

  15. TNH says:

    Crayfish, crawfish, crawdads. Those things turn up everywhere. They’re like giant aquatic bugs.

    Tasty, though.

  16. dave james says:

    In the US south, the gulf of Mexico coast, Lousiana, Mississippi, Alabama and, of course Texas they are frequently called mudbugs and prepared as you seem to and beer of course, not in the cooking, in us. The first boil is best, burns.

  17. Shooroop says:

    Delicious! Last time I ate it almost year ago. It’s really delicoious with both of beer bottlesюююШ hope I’ll eat it so soon

  18. den says:


    Wife of one guy went missing. After searching here duting one week policeman called this guy and told him:
    -We have 3 news for you. One is really bad but other two can compensate it.
    the guy replied: Ok, tell me the bad news first..
    P: We found body of your wife in the river.
    G: So what are good news then?
    P: first is that we gathered a basket of crawfishes from her body and we invite you for some beer…
    G: what is the second good news?
    P: We placed the body of your wife back to the river, so tomorrow we can have another beer/crawfish party!

  19. Seanni says:

    Boiled crawfish are delicious!

  20. Eduard Eduardovich says:

    Growing up in Louisiana, I ate crawfish all the time, and so when I traveled to Suzdal in 1992 for the summer, I was intrigued to see crawfish, (raki) on the menu at a local restaurant. I greedily sat down with a platter of unshelled crawfish and sour cream (served with a mug of honey mead).

    What I didn’t know is that these crawfish have spiked scales on their tails, instead of the rounded scales on the tails of cajun crawfish. I treated myself to two punctured thumbs full of salt and lemon! What a treat!

    Thanks for the reminder…

  21. I don’t eat crayfish.

    Soendoro Soetanto

  22. harfang says:

    The REAL moral of this story, of course, is that smetana (sour cream) makes EVERYTHING tasty in Russia. Including fruit.

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